4/6/2023 0 Comments Selective listeningWhat matters is that you actively listened and made a decision after weighing the options. Even if the end result is the same - you aren’t open-minded about a new idea, or you will never help unload the dishwasher and dust the shelves in the living room - fine. Instead, it’s a matter of welcoming differing opinions and allowing yourself to consider them. Listening Isn’t Only About Your Ears But Also Your MindĬhoosing to be less selective in your listening does not mean you have to be less selective in your opinions and ideas. Has it changed how you communicate? It’s important to politely ask that person to be open to what you’re saying, but to emphasize that they don’t have to agree with what you voice. No matter what, think about how that conversation has affected every conversation you’ve had with that person after the selective listening experience. Why do you think that person was tuning you out? Was it the timing of the conversation? Were you interrupting something important? Was it a deep conversation in which you knew the other person would have opposing views? It was apparent that they didn’t want to hear what you had to say, and even if they were nodding their head, your words were going in one ear and out the other. Think about the last time it was clear to you that the person you were talking to had no interest in what you were saying. When You Recall the Memory of Not Being Listened to, You’ll Know Why You Need a ChangeĪcknowledging that you may sometimes suffer from selective listening is not enough - you have to change and be a better partner and friend. ![]() In fact, some people may view your refusal to truly listen as a sign that you are manipulating the relationship and making it completely one-sided. Relationships only work if communication is strong, and selective hearing makes it hard to understand the needs and wants of others. More so, the partner who is sick of you “not hearing” them ask you to wash the dishes or fold the laundry may not stick around to see what else your ears ignore. ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄ That potential fight is the real reason we often stop hearing what someone has to say we’ve already decided they’re wrong because we are right. It’s part of a big problem which results when you are unable to hear what someone has to say because you are refusing to submit yourself to the underlying confrontation. This isn’t just a bad habit or rude behavior. It’s a type of mental filtering in which we tune out someone’s opinions or ideas when they don’t line up with ours. Selective listening, or selective attention, is the phenomenon that occurs when we only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. ![]() Many women will joke that their husbands have selective listening, but could it be that we are all a little guilty of it? What Is Selective Listening and Why It Is Problematic This causes me to have my own version of the entire conversation, and it usually isn’t very accurate. I am hearing what I want to hear and tuning out everything in between. ![]() This misunderstanding typically stems from the fact that I am not actually listening at all. I listen to what he says and assume I understand what he means, and not always in a positive way. Engaging in selective listening may be the easiest way to pick a fight with your significant other.
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